TB's Note about Online Friends
My friend and I were discussing the dangers of giving out your phone number willy nilly to people you've just met on the internet and dating people you've only met online. Somehow, my friend morphed it into "you shouldn't ever talk to strangers online because it's unsafe." Ah, the old propaganda they drilled into us at school. Because everyone on the internet is a murderer/kidnapper/rapist, right? Especially these wikis, we know all dangerous people love to edit pages about Avatars and Spirit Portals and participate in lively debates about Zutura or Kataang /end sarcasm. I should repeat myself to avoid any misconceptions: this note is about debunking the myth that you should never befriend people online, not about how you shouldn't use caution while doing so. Look, meeting people over the internet is dangerous. The internet is a tool, neither good nor bad. It's like a knife; it can be used to hurt or help, up to the wielder. And there are certainly people who don't have the best intentions, and they'll turn the internet into a way to harm. But for every one of those criminals in disguise, there are many many more who simply use the internet to broaden their knowledge and network in a positive way. I bet you, dear reader, are one of them. The internet is like a vast ocean. To quote Gandhi "...if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty." He was referring to the whole of humanity, but this applies to internet too. Yes, there is a risk, but it's not as exaggeratedly big as many make it out to be. We all take risks in life. If you can't figure out how to lessen the risk of being exploited online, maybe you shouldn't be online (more on that later). The most overused saying: "you don't know who's behind that screen!" Are they speaking literally, in that you can't see their faces? True, it can be problematic when you can't see their faces. But what's even more problematic is if you were to judge people solely by their face. We all instinctively form biases about people based on how they look; biases that can be horribly wrong. The internet eliminates that. It helps bridge age/culture/other socioeconomic factor gaps. Or does the saying refer to something more figurative, such as how you don't know the intentions of the people behind the screen? Well hello, doesn't that apply to anyone, even those in real life? People can smile and say sweet things while inside their minds, they're planning to kill you. People in real life can be undercover agents or criminals in disguise; watch a crime show if you don't believe me. You can argue that it's easier to lie online, which is true, with the lack of body language and such. But really, dangerous, skilled criminals could probably successfully lie to you in person just as they could online. Nevertheless, I agree it is easier to manipulate the truth online, but that's where caution comes in. You need certain street smarts before engaging and interacting with people through the internet. Be polite, but discreet. Don't spill your entire life's sob story to people online. Be wary of the facades people use. Steer clear of those who press for personal information. Try to focus on topics of interest, rather than yourself, especially for those you've just met. The internet can be a great place to vent, but be cautious when you are emotionally unstable and could potentially make poor judgments. How much caution you need to take largely varies on your age and maturity. Why do people tell younger people not to interact with others online? Because they assume they don't have the caution/street smarts to be safe, which is sometimes true, although I can't say to what extent. I joined wiki at a very young for the internet age, but I was wayyyy overly cautious. On the other hand, people like Stephanie can give out more information, because she's older and has had more experience in life and could probably handle jerks in person just as well as jerks online. Of course, she doesn't just hand out all her personal information. Her blog posts deal with her personal experiences, but she keeps them mature, controlled, and shares relevant details. I cannot emphasize caution enough. The cautions I listed were just basics; in no way am I suggesting that they are the surefire way to safety. The internet brings people together who would probably never meet otherwise. I love geography, but it tends to get in the way of some amazing friendships. The internet is a portal to the great big world out there. Okay, this will sound cheesy, but I can almost imagine being in the vastly different worlds my friends are seeing. Tony's rich accounts of Greece, the village, MK's struggle with the anti-Pakistani manners many have adopted, Walt's crazy rigorous (and seemingly awesome!) European school, Cackling Shadow in college, Stephanie's long hours working at an amusement park. Because of my online friends, I've become more aware of the world around me. I've come to trust them. Maybe I haven't shared some personal details with them (some day, I will) but I truly think they're good friends. Sure, they could be involved in some huge conspiracy to steal my unicorns (and they have a lot ''of patience) but reality says the odds are ''very slim. Category:Blog posts